Today, is the amazing day I guess. Rain also have some attitude towards Earth may be this once upon a time this earth make sky heart break and that’s the main reason why today i saw this rain from my window.

I understand why this sky have revenge fu attitude towards Earth because this heart break have no healing solutions and as a human I know it very well if you face heart broke you can’t get enough healing.

Infact, you start behaving like detective or in a “doubt” state everytime. You doubt on being in love, to saw a rain, on your lover, on parents infact on your dog too. Because you didn’t get the exact answer why people like you or love you. Do you have any magic in your eyes where your boyfriend find some rest or he just wants that all kisses and sex for free.

I do doubt on everyone in every second. Sometimes feel when I get that answer why people like or love me. 

And when I get that answer I definitely try that “kiss in a rain” thing for sure with that person.

All night I just have thoughts about my soldier and now it’s a morning, and morning become afternoon, on late evening I felt that I miss him so much but we don’t love each other we just like each other companies. I told him not to complicate our lives and live life fully like a friend’s but he didn’t listen to me, he want to be in a relationship with me so as ofcourse I said yes. 

But I couldn’t help myself to being miss by me. I hope he miss me too there and have some thoughts about me.


Solider’s Girlfriend


On 26th june 2017, he said he likes me. He said so many things to me that his words make me confused. And asked me why he likes me. So I asked him the same question with same attitude. He didn’t said a word I felt it’s just a liking so thats fine. This not a new thing for a girl to get new proposal on every single day. But this guy is my friend. We are friends from college. We met not so often. Infact we rarely know each other. I think he likes the feeling of being in love. But his words are so convincing that I have to say yes to his proposal.

So, on the same moment when he say he wants to be with me he don’t love me yet but he likes me alot. And I reply him immediately that yes that’s true on my side as well. I like you but I don’t have any feelings for you but your words are so convincing like I have to say yes for relationship.

All day long and spend my night in thinking why I’m not able to feel “love”. I was in a love I know how it feels so where that magic love feeling gone. Some of my friends said Catherine just give yourself sometime and be with him may be he’ll help you to find out that feeling.

We mutually decide to went on date. We eat, drink and then dance like never before. I enjoyed so much with him. He give me wings to fly. He said so simply” Catherine I want to set your way to fly out, just be happy and live your life fully”

And after exact one day he is going. He’s going because soldier have so many responsibilities to complete. I stand behind him he hugs me and said I miss you.

But still I can’t feel love but I can feel how my heart feeling something missing..

I’ll stand behind him and he’s just vanish from my road but not my destiny. I’ll wait for him and know he come back soon.

I’ll be waiting here and standing with tears feeling when he came back with the lost feeling of my love.


I just completed fifty shades trilogy. I never thought that I touched by every word of this amazing trilogy. I step in into new world where I feel I’m so alone may be like Christian Grey. I’m so thankful towards E.L JAMES she gives us fantastic fiction which I guess every reader who is too attached towards reading and love loves these books a lot like me.

somewhere today I love bright sun which is not that much hot towards earth. I feel new leaf in an old tree today. A good hope and refresh mind make me happier and on the other hand a little bit sad because now I love fantasy more than reality. Maybe many readers saw fifty shades trilogy an “a porn fantasy”  but for many, these trilogy is full of drama love and affection.

Today, I just sit on my terrace and watching that beautiful sky who are steer clear and who have different shapes of silver linings. with lots of people over coffee, i fantasy being like  Ana with my Christian.

Like Ana and Christian relationship every girl wants the same affection and attention from the guy who loved her a lot. But somewhere these trilogy makes you feel alone with the different fantasy of world and you’ll love that feeling a lot.

Thank heaven for E.L JAMES trilogy.